Spammers are just stupid. What makes them think they can comment on something (with their for-shit grammar and spelling and their link to their illegal activities) and I won't find it and delete it? Seriously. Stupid.
Pirates (not the cool kind that fight global warming and worship the Flying Spaghetti Monster, those are the good pirates) are evil and should have their hard drives melted down for slag. If I could find a way to embed code into my ebooks that fried the hard drive of anyone who illegally downloaded it, I would. But I'm a writer, not a programmer.